While I’m naturally prone to melancholy, lately I’ve been finding myself in the thick of one depressive episode after the other. The kind of depression where you lay in bed for hours on end, turn off your phone, and forget to eat because we’re all dying anyway so who cares, right?
Wrong, actually. I cared.
I spent so much time caring what people were thinking about me, wondering why they slighted me or mistreated me. Trying to pick apart their motives, and looking within myself to try and figure out what was wrong with me, because it just had to be me. I’ve let people control my mood, control my actions, and take up residency in my mind rent-free.
Well, that ends now. Ok, technically it ended last weekend, but you get it. I’ve finally learned how to stop giving a f***.
Not giving a f*** has allowed me to regain control over my emotions and mood. I’m able to clear up space in my mind for more important things and I’m finding myself to be more productive as well. Also, no more stifling myself for the sake of being humble. I’ve found that the happier I am, and the more I share how happy I am, the more good things come my way (like two major interviews for my brand).
Want to join me on this IDGAF train, destination: Happy AF-ville? Here’s how to snag a ticket for yourself:
Stop Playing Detective For Free
If someone ignores you, unfriends you, or does anything that seems kind of….off…just shrug it off. Everyone has their off days and their odd behavior probably has nothing to do with you. But in the off chance that it does, it’s up to them to express that to you. You’re not Sherlock Holmes and you haven’t been hired to take on the case of the mysterious missing text-back. Stop investigating other people’s feelings for free. You have more important things to think about, like the show you’re going to binge on Netflix later.
You’re not a time traveler. Live in the now.
Stop wishing you could turn back time, and obsessing over the “woulda, coulda, shouldas”. You can’t go back to freshman year of college and undrink all that alcohol. You can’t take that text back, and you can’t undo a friendship that’s been permanently damaged. So you might as well stop dwelling over things in the past. All you can do is learn from these experiences and make tomorrow a better day.
Keep yourself busy. Take up a hobby or learn a new skill. Not only will you get a boost of confidence as your skills grow, you won’t have as much time to dwell on little inconveniences or strange behavior.
Keep it Positive
Not giving a f*** doesn’t mean be a heartless jerk. It means focusing less on trivial things so you can focus more on what matters. Not giving a f*** will always result in a more positive mindset.
Need some help keeping things bright and cheery? Write down what you’re grateful for every day! I’ve found that journaling my gratitude as well as the things I’m looking forward to frames my mind differently and leads to a more positive day. Also don’t be afraid to publicly share what you’re excited about or grateful for! Good people love seeing other people happy and may want to help you keep the good vibes going.
Remember you’re great just the way you are (unless you’re an a**hole). We all have character flaws and we’re all striving to improve (hopefully). Literally everyone is a mess so why not just be who you are right now?
Being yourself means knowing your principles/boundaries and being firm with what you’ll accept and not accept. When you’re always willing to give in or bend or give up not only do people take notice and respect you less, but you also always end up unhappy. Stay firm and f*** anyone who doesn’t like it, because there are more people who will.
What do you think? Have you been caught up in giving a f***? What do you do to combat that feeling?