While I’m naturally prone to melancholy, lately I’ve been finding myself in the thick of one depressive episode after the other. The kind of depression where you lay in bed for hours on end, turn off your phone, and forget to eat because we’re all dying anyway so who cares, right?
Wrong, actually. I cared.
I spent so much time caring what people were thinking about me, wondering why they slighted me or mistreated me. Trying to pick apart their motives, and looking within myself to try and figure out what was wrong with me, because it just had to be me. I’ve let people control my mood, control my actions, and take up residency in my mind rent-free.
Well, that ends now. Ok, technically it ended last weekend, but you get it. I’ve finally learned how to stop giving a f***.